December was filled with so much joy and so many treats. I felt normal. I felt balanced. I didn’t feel like I was racing to catch up. Some really exciting things happened on the blog and in life, and for the first time in months, I felt like I hit my stride.
We started off the month with a couple really fun holiday parties, followed by an amazing trip to Chicago, followed by some more holiday parties, a whole lot of snow, a bit of cross country skiing, mixed in with copious amounts of booze and overindulgent treats and finished it with a quick trip back to Idaho to celebrate Christmas with our families and best friends.
December felt good. It was the first month in a long time, that I didn’t feel like I was chasing something. I felt less scared and a little more confident. Everything felt a little more settled and a little more like home. Of course it wasn’t all sunshine and happiness, but the challenges that presented themselves didn’t seem as daunting or fatiguing. I sort of just put on my problem-solving hat and kept moving forward.
I didn’t feel like I was fighting something, I didn’t have to push as hard. It all kind of just came together. Most of the time when the New Year rolls around, I feel like I scrambling to catch up. Like I didn’t do enough to prepare, and now it’s here and I’m not ready. But somewhere in December, I started on a few new projects, began a new workout routine, completed some year-end items early and somehow got myself ahead of the game.
I went to lunch with a friend yesterday and she asked me how I was feeling in Milwaukee. And, without hesitation I said “great”. And it just rolled off my tongue, I didn’t even think about it. I sort of shocked myself with that answer but I suppose it’s true. I do feel great about being here, and although it's scary at times, I’m not letting my fears and insecurities keep me down. Even flying back from Idaho, it felt good to come home to my own apartment, in my little neighborhood. It felt good to know where I was going and how to get there.
So, thank you December for getting me back on my feet. Thank you for letting me feel “normal” or whatever that means. Thank you for helping me remember what it feels like to be truly happy. 2013 pushed me more than I could have imagined but helped me find myself (again) along the way. Here’s to all that 2014 will bring!